Flying home for the holidays can be a stressful time, especially for parents with small children. Children and planes generally don’t mix. There are the prospects of long lines, cramped seats, boredom, bickering and earaches – not to mention the disorienting feeling of flying 30,000 feet in the air. But with a bit of know-how, it needn’t be a hassle. We spoke to child psychologist, Dr Sara O’Brien, who has advice for parents flying with young children.
With a bit of know-how, flying with small children needn’t be a hassle. Image by Getty
Plan Ahead
According to Dr O’Brien, a child psychologist and clinical director of Treehouse Practice in Dublin, Ireland, planning ahead is essential. Ready your children for the ordeal by making sure they have everything they need. Dr O’Brien suggests filling their carry-on bags with plenty of snacks, a kid-sized pillow and maybe even a toy for the special occasion. “Anything that will make the journey more comfortable,” she says.
If it’s their first time flying, they’re about to enter unchartered territory and it can be daunting and overwhelming for young minds. Dr O’Brien says it’s essential that children are equipped with as much information as possible to ease them into the journey. “Prepare them for what they should expect. Give them a story or script and a checklist of what they’ll find on the plane, everything from where they’ll sit to what the wheels look like and go over it a few times with them,” she says. “This is important when children are going through any new experiences or changes, it’s good to give them a narrative. The more you can prepare them the better. When they’re clipping their seatbelt they’ll be thinking ‘Oh, this is what Mommy and Daddy were talking about’ and they’ll feel more secure.”
Give them responsibilities
Tasking children with responsibilities like packing their own bags can ease their pre-flight fears. Image by Getty
Dr O’Brien advises parents to ensure that children have their own responsibilities, tasks they should tend to in the airport and on the plane. By focusing on their tasks, they’re less likely to become bored or worry about strange, new experiences. “Give them their own rucksack and allow them to pack it and carry it through the airport,” says Dr O’Brien, “Make sure they know what happens in the airport and where they need to queue. They’ll enjoy the novelty of it and they’ll have something to focus on.”
Manage your own anxiety
It’s important to remain calm when toddlers kick off mid-flight. Image: Stock photo by Chris Tobin/Getty Images
You can’t always manage your child’s mood, especially at 30,000 feet but you can manage your own anxieties. Children pick up on stress so Dr O’Brien encourages parents to be “models of emotion”. Children go through the same range of emotions as adults do when flying: boredom, tiredness and frustration. The only difference is they can’t express these feelings like we do. “They rely on their parents to guide them,” says Dr O’Brien. “In the event that they do kick off mid-air it’s important to then let them guide you. If they have an earache or if they’re feeling restless and frustrated – go with the flow, maybe walk up and down the aisle with them a few times.”
She also encourages parents not to worry about other passengers when dealing with a stressed or uncomfortable child who’s going through a mid-air meltdown. “If they’re parents themselves they’ll understand, if not, maybe just explain ‘Look, he’s three-years-old, he’s tired,” don’t get worked up about it and remember that it will pass. They’re not going to be screaming for the entire flight. These things usually last about ten minutes maximum, rarely any longer.”
Don’t be afraid to relax the rules
Don’t hesitate to download videos. Photo by: Tetra Images/Getty Images
Dr O’Brien recommends that parents bend some of their home rules when flying. “I know parents limit screen time at home and that’s good but I think with long-haul flights we can bend the rules a little. Don’t be afraid of screen time.” She says that parents should explain to children that this extra screen time is a “special treat” but as soon as they return home, it’s back to normal. Let them know in advance that they can play more of their favourite video games or watch more of their favourite cartoons and download them to a tablet. “It’s something else for them to look forward to and it means that they’re occupied. There’s not much to do on a flight and the kids channels exist for a reason, take advantage and don’t feel guilty for it.”
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